Through Thick and Thin
by BWaves
Summary: Insecurities are basically second nature to teenagers, and no one knows this better than the one who just found out his best friend is a hot nerd.
1. Chapter 1

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pester turntechGodhead [TG] at 16:39 -

EB: okay this is going to sound weird but i'm randomly encountering you.

TG: yeah that sounds really weird

EB: sorry.

EB: new chat client and i was curious of what this did and i didn't know if it would tell you i pestered you regardless of whether or not i said anything.

EB: so i said something.

TG: it wouldn't have said anything for the record

TG: but i have no qualms with someone randomly talking to me

TG: so long as they introduce themselves properly

TG: at the risk of sounding like a super creepy omegle-er

TG: asl?

EB: you're right, that did sound pretty creepy.

EB: but to answer, sixteen, dude and washington.

TG: wow surprising

TG: seventeen guy texas

TG: names dave

EB: i'm john.

* * *

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 12:45 -

TG: egbert

EB: what do you want, dave?

TG: wanted to say happy birthday

EB: how did you know it was my birthday?

TG: i may or may not have a friend who will do whatever i tell him to

TG: and i may or may not have told him to look you up online

TG: if i did tell him to do that it was strictly so that i could be sure you existed

TG: and were not a pedophile

TG: trying to get into my underaged panties

TG: found out your birthday was today

TG: thought id tell you happy birthday

EB: that's both creepy and thoughtful.

TG: i know

EB: but thanks for the birthday wishes, i guess.

TG: no problem bro

EB: so other than being a total creeper, what's up?

* * *

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 18:24 -

EB: DAVE.

EB: big deal.

EB: get your butt on your computer so i can tell you all about this big deal thing.

EB: or not, that's cool too.

EB: JUST LEAVE ME HANGING IT'S FINE I DON'T EVEN CARE.

EB: IT'S NOT LIKE IT WAS IMPORTANT OR ANYTHING.

TG: dude calm your tits

TG: what the fuck is such a big deal it can't wait fifteen fucking minutes?

EB: i was going to tell you i won an xbox.

TG: wow

TG: do you have live?

EB: no, but i'm working on changing that, kind of need to save up because i'm going to just buy a year's worth instead of going a month at a time.

TG: good boy

EB: and then we can play left 4 dead and shit together.

TG: and team fortress 2

TG: and if you're up for it we can play cheesy shit like halo

TG: and rage when we kill each other

TG: but deep down inside youre giggling like a fucking schoolgirl

TG: all like 'senpai noticed me long enough to shoot me in the head'

EB: do i even want to know?

TG: my brother's rubbing off on me

EB: kinky.

-turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 18:35 -

* * *

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 03:32 -

TG: john

TG: wake up

TG: i know its like godawful early for you

TG: but you have to realize its like two hours later for me

TG: im contacting you at 1/3 in the morning

TG: because ther was a thing

TG: and i kind of just want someone to talk to

EB: im awake

TG: thank you

EB: you better have a good reason i have school in the morning.

TG: its kind of all fucked the fuck up

TG: bro got into a wreck and im just on edge and worrying and shit

EB: i wasn't aware you were capable of such emotions, dave.

TG: really youre gonna pull this shit right now

EB: I'M TIRED

EB: you brought this upn yourself dav.

TG: look sorry about waking you up

TG: i dont really have anyone else to talk to

EB: id your bro even hurt?

TG: not badly

EB: is there even the tiniest chance that he won't live?

TG: i dont think him dying is a possibility

EB: then i'm going back to bed.

EB: i'll talk to you in a few hours while i'm awake when i'm supposed to be.

TG: fine

TG: sorry

EB: goodnight, dave.

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 04:07 -

* * *

- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:12 -

EB: i have to tell you something important.

EB: but you have to get on skype.

EB: my username is the same as my chumhandle so just add me and i'll call you and i can tell you this thing.

- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:21 -

You stare at the messages, recieved at school, which is honestly surprising because even with the time difference he'd have been in school as well. Yet, your curiosity trumps all and you take another step in the interesting friendship you and John had been building up over the past several months. You look him up on Skype and it's pretty much immediate that he video calls you. You hesitate to answer. You don't know what you're expecting.

You let your mind wander for a moment.

Probably on the shorter side. Chubby. Definitely nerdy. That would be embarrassing, he'd be this chubby nerd and you'd be /you/. Poor guy's gone all these months without realizing he's talking to a legitimate cool person.

With a resigned sigh, you answer and the face that meets you is, in a word, gorgeous.

Not what you expected. At all. He looks tall, with the way his camera is tilted to show the ceiling along the top of the screen. Short black hair over a thin face and an equally thin frame. He wears glasses, but they're not huge, and they're not thick nd they look good on him.

You retract your earlier thought, thinking he's like that and you're just /you/. Funny how the tables turn when you see someone's face.

You try to say something, noticing the boxes and the clean walls, which you remember him saying were covered in posters. "What's so important you needed to video call me?" You ask, leaning back in your chair and self-consciously tugging on the edge of your hoodie.

"My dad got transferred for work. So I'm moving."

"That's cool." You say, nodding a little. "Where to?"

This is the part where he smiles and holy crap he's so pretty. "Houston." He holds his arms out in an unspoken 'tada' and you feel yourself tense.

"That's cool, bro." You say and smile a little.

"We're leaving the first day of winter break, should be down there by Christmas." He leans forward, pulling the camera to accommodate the lowering of his head. "Now I need to know what all to expect." He smiles again and you simply offer a nod to your friend.

"Let me tell you all about Texas," You say.

It takes a good few hours but eventually you wrap up your lecture. You tell him about winters, which, while not as old as other places, are still cold as fuck. You tell him about summers which can easily get into the high ninety's, low hundreds. You explain to him that Houston is humid as all get out.

You go over stereotypes, which ones are true and which are not. Cowboys are not, rednecks are. Cowboys are skewed to all outside of the state. You explain that Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob, while semi-accurate, is a character essentially made to perpetuate the stereotype.

You tell him about country music, how it used to be good and be about young women running away with the men of their dreams, or men giving their daughter's boyfriends terrifying speeches to ensure their princess' safety, or sons taking after their fathers in many somewhat endearing scenarios, but thanks to various artist nowadays the music is no longer country it is what you refer to as 'pop-country mutant love-child' and is about breakups and unrealistically compared Romeo and Juliet stories and 'chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit'.

He seems really interested but after a while he has to excuse himself to go eat and tells you he'll be back on later. You say bye to each other and he ends the call and then goes offline on both Skype and Pesterchum. You sigh a little bit thinking back on the conversation. He's really good looking, you note, taking a moment to glance down at yourself and grimacing slightly He has a nice voice, which is a weird thing to say but compared to what you figured you'd been expecting it was a whole new level of holy shit.

His laugh makes you uncomfortable. In a good and bad way. You never thought of thinking someone's laugh is sexy or whatever before but when you get him laughing hard enough it dissolves into desperate snorts for breath and you can't fucking handle it. It's super cute and somewhat endearing and the way he lifts his hands to cover his mouth when he does laugh is too cute.

You feel really weird about suddenly being totally into John. Considering you've only known each other online and this is the first time you've seen his face in the whole year and a half you two have been talking. You wonder briefly what he thought of you and once more you look down to yourself, looking at the still running webcam open on your computer. Shit he must've thought you were a mess.

You bring up a hand and run your too thin fingers through messy red hair and furrow your brow at yourself. You seem like the kind of person a guy like him would ignore, you think.

You're pudgy and your face is squishy with chub. Your face is, like, ninety-percent freckles. As you look at yourself in the camera you wonder why the fuck he sat there and watched you talk for so long.

* * *

Hi there!

I haven't posted anything here since Lucid (which actually has a chance of being revived.)

This story was originally being posted on Ao3 but I figured putting it here as well could't hurt, so here it is.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi, yeah, so Eventually I'm gonna have all this up here and catch it up to Ao3, but yeh this is my newer story that I've been on for a few months now, it's better than Night Terrors, even!

Anyways, so yeah, enjoy this.

* * *

You marked the date on your calendar. You know for sure that John would be arriving in Houston on December 22nd. You had two weeks. Two weeks until you go to see him in real life. Find out if he goes to your school. You're admittedly terrified. For stupid reasons, maybe, you think. After seeing him the first time you've shared a surprisingly high amount of conversations on Skype, though you did end up lying to him and telling him your camera stopped working so it was strictly voice calls.

Of course this didn't help you because, just your luck, he thinks you're funny and laughs every time you go on a tangent. It's almost literally killing you right about Friday morning when he calls just to talk before going to school. You bear with it, sit through it and talk to him tiredly and wonder why the hell he's up so early for his time and he says it's so he could talk to you.

You go to school distracted then. You think about him through first and second period, and half-way through lunch you're snapped out of it by Feferi pinching the shit out of your cheek trying to get your attention. "What the actual fuck!?" You snap rubbing at the now sore skin.

"We're kind of curious what's got you so down is all." She says with a worried smile. Of course. Nothing has you down you insist and Sollux, sitting across from you rolls his eyes and gives an exaggerated huff.

"Not buying it." He says simply. "You haven't eaten lunch all week." He points to the empty space on the table before you and you stare at it realizing, yeah, you kind of haven't. "So there are obviously bees in your metaphorical bonnet. Who put them there?" He asks.

"I don't know I just haven't been hungry, a guy's not allowed to skip lunch every now and again?"

"Not every day for a week straight!" Feferi says, frowning at you.

"You haven't been eating dinner either if the two days I was over speak for the rest of the week." Sollux adds and you feel like they need to get the fuck out of your business right now.

"Well it doesn't count for the rest of the week you presumptuous douche." It did though. You think about it and realize you've barely eaten anything since your first Skype with John. Maybe that had something to do with it but like hell you were going to admit any of that to these two.

"Whale you know you can tell us anyfin right?" Feferi says and you regret meeting her eyes the moment you catch the dark blue. She's too easy to relent to. She has that whole 'I'm super nice but if you piss me off I'll fucking kill you' vibe, and that extends to people being mean to her friends (which as far as you are aware consists of you, Sollux and that bitchy guy with the purple hair who refuses to sit with you because of Sollux), keeping secrets from her and talking about seafood.

You figure it can't hurt anyone too much if you tell them your friend is coming to town for an indefinite amount of time. "You guys remember I was telling you about that guy I met on pesterchum?" They both nod. "He's moving here over break." They both look a little surprised then.

"That's a good thing, though!" Feferi says with a wide smile, grabbing onto your arm and shaking you a little. "You should be super happy, why aren't you happy?" She drags out happy, adding a strange inflection to her voice and widening her eyes at you.

"I am happy!" You say, carefully removing her, "I'm pretty freakin' pumped, I gotta tell you, how often do you make a friend online and then actually meet them? That shit's rare. Don't get me wrong, I'm all up and ready to help him move his shit in and give the Visita de Texas*, but I'm just having those typical worries like that he's not gonna like me in real life you know."

"I call bullshit." A voice behind you says and you turn to see Karkat, a tray of more food than you've seen him ever eat in his hands. He takes the seat next to you and shoves a sandwich into your hands, "Seriously the entire fucking time shitstain and I were at your place you would not stop talking to him and unless the blue was my imagination he wouldn't stop talking to you either." He says, pointing a thumb at Sollux, the shitstain to which Karkat referred.

"That's different." You explain, "Me online and me in real life are almost two totally different me's, like there's six Dave's running around and who I'm around changes which one I am, you get me?" He looks skeptically at you and point to the chicken sandwich in your hands.

"Just eat, Strider, we don't need you dying of starvation and I personally would much prefer if your noise spout was occupied with something other than talking." He huffs and begins to pick at the spaghetti on his tray grumbling to himself in Chinese and pointedly glaring at the innocent food.

Sollux looks between you and Karkat before looking to Feferi and tilting his head. "Ready to go?" She nods with a smile. "We're gonna go find Aradia, Physics homework isn't gonna do itself y'know." With a few goodbyes they're gone and it's just you and Karkat and he continues to pick slowly at his lunch, while you haven't touched the food he'd given you.

He sits up a little straighter and turns to you, "Are you going to see Terezi today?" He asks and you actually think about it for a moment.

"Haven't made any plans not to. ¿Por qué?"

"You have got to stop that, I don't know Spanish asshole."

"Sorry." Is all you mumble, "I asked why, by the way."

He shifts a little, "I wanted to know if I could come along." You quirk and eyebrow at him as he shovels a forkfull of the pathetic excuse for Italian food into his mouth.

"Okay now I really want to know why." You say, turning and leaning on the table placing a palm under your chin. "Tell me all about it, Karkat."

"Well if you're there to translate I don't see any reason why not."

You smirk shaking your head, "Nah man, if you come along I'll be too busy translating your tirades to talk to her myself." You say and he shoots you a piercing glare. "Why do you want to go if you can't even talk to her?" You ask and he rolls his eyes.

"Forget it, I'll just go home and listen to my brother talk on and on and on. He got home from college you know? Yeah. Haven't gotten a wink of sleep, dude. Not cool. Fucker never shuts up and when I tell him to shut the fuck up he gets all up in arms and tells me I 'should not use such foul language' and that I could 'potentially trigger someone' and I tell him to shut the fuck up again and he again tells me not to cuss and I drop every swear word in my itinerary and he just gets to fucking pissy. I swear if I hear the word trigger one more time I may have to use a fork to commit Seppuku to get away from him."

"Ritual stomach cutting?"

"Yes, Dave. I will use a kitchen utensil to slice open my own stomach. We're talking the whole deal, a white kimono a fuckin' death poem, you get to have the honors of cutting my head off, but you need to practice that shit because you need to leave a little bit so it's still attached alright?" He's pinching at a fleshy part on his neck and you're staring at him, wide eyed.

"Did... Did you fucking research harakiri, Karkat?"

"Seriously? You're fucking surprised I know this shit? How much stuff have I looked up simply to stifle a fucking curiosity?"

"An yet you haven't bothered to learn Spanish so you can talk to Terezi." You say simply and he almost growls at you.

"Can I come or not?" He snaps and you hum dramatically. "Fucking answer me, Strider!" He snaps reeling back a forkful of spaghetti.

Your hands shoot up and you nod, "Yes, yes, just don't touch me with that shit." You reach forward, slowly lowering the hand and standing. "I'm gonna go to the library, meet me in the front after school alright?" He agrees and you head to your destination, but you're only a few feet away when you feel the still-wrapped chicken sandwich smack you in the back of the head.

You walk up to the door of the first floor apartment and knock a few times. Karkat stands behind you with an odd look on his face, you're not sure how he feels, which is odd because he's usually blatantly obvious with that kind of shit. The door swings open a moment later, a taller girl in nothing but a bra and a pair of basket-ball shorts smiles at you. "Dave!" She says with a smile and then talks about how Terezi was wondering when you'd visit next.

You understand her, but Karkat shifts uncomfortably behind you as Latula asks who your friend is.

You take a step back, "Latula, Karkat, Karkat Latula." You motion between them and she greets him with a smile before motioning the two of you inside.

"If I'd known he didn't speak Spanish I would have started out right." Latula says with a small chuckle. "I'm not very good but I get by, yeah?" She says, and you note how Karkat's shoulders sag in relief. "She's in her room just knock first like usual." She says, waving them off and heading to the kitchen.

You thank her and lead Karkat to the door with a sign that you learned at one point was Terezi's name in braille. You knock and wait before you're invited in and open the door to the spotless room. Across the room, sitting at her desk with a very large book propped open is Terezi who smiles and says she smelled you coming.

You go about introducing Karkat, explaining the language barrier and she cackles, asking why he bothered to come if he couldn't understand. You tell her he expects you to translate and then she says 'translate this:'

"She said learn the language, and I think Karkles was a name, because it's definitely not a word, so congrats, you got a nickname."

He seems to take a moment to process this before going on a short tirade, which you're sure he expects you to translate. You do, begrudgingly, and Terezi offers a soft roll of her eyes before answering, but it turns out to be a question directed at you.

You look between her and Karkat, who looks like hes expecting a translation. "Si." Is all you say and she laughs again before Karkat begins demanding an answer.

You actually hang out with Terezi for a while longer, translating for the conversations they have and laughing with Terezi when the two of you begin to talk about Karkat. You enjoyed that part, because you could say whatever you wanted with him right there.

Eventually, however, Latula came in and sent the two of you out.

"I guess that wasn't completely horrible." Karkat grumbles as you're walking him home. "Even though I didn't understand a fucking thing coming out of either of your mouths." He adds. You smirk.

"She actually asked me what you looked like at one point in there." You say with a nod and he looks up at you, eyebrows as far up as you've seen them in a while.

"And what did you say?" He demands.

"You're a short Asian kid with a broken volume nob."

He snarls at you as you laugh at him, but he doesn't get the chance to attack before you're standing outside the gated neighborhood he lives in. "I'll see you on Monday, alright." You wave over your shoulder at him and manage to hop a bus the rest of the way to your apartment.

You get home, are greeted by your older brother who is sat upon the futon watching television and scribbling something on a piece of paper. Probably a design for something either puppet or robot related, you're not sure which. He barely acknowledges you beyond that short greeting however and you head straight to your room.

Once you get on your computer you see that you've got a message from John.

– ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:56 –

EB: one more week! :B

– ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 17:57 –

You can't hold back the small sigh as you think about it. Yep. In one week you were meeting face to face. Physically. Like he can see your short weirdly proportioned body and all the freckles and he could see how pale you were. You self-consciously run the tips of your fingers over your speckled cheeks, heading to the bathroom with a groan of annoyance.

You take a shower and find yourself staring at your reflection. Your face is one kind of pale but the rest of you is worse, you decide. Pinching the skin the hangs loosely from your stomach you blanch a little, your eyes trailing up from the spot to your shoulders. You turn a little examining the skin, some patches where barely any pale shows through. You scratch harshly at the spots, as if you could get rid of them with your digging nails. All you get from it is a raw spot that burns to touch, and you wince as you rub some water against it.

You think back to when that had been a habit, the scratching thing. Surely it hadn't hurt as much then? As you think about it you remember that it had actually counted as self harm, which hadn't even crossed your mind. It's not like it's what you were trying to do. It gave you relief, you suppose, you liked having pain you could control, you had decided at one point. It never escalated beyond the scratching though.

You run your fingers over the scars on the back of your hands and on your upper arms. Then the ones on your stomach, near your ribs. There were actually a lot there. Mostly there. Three on your left hand, two on the right. Four on your left arm, seven on your right, and there were only ten or eleven on your stomach that you could see but you know there had been more there.

You tug at your cheeks and the skin around your eyes, peering at the way the veins in your eyes are stark red like your irises. You're frowning at the sight of you as you tug the towel off your waist, taking in the freckles on your thighs and on your back as you turn and examine all of you.

Your brother is this creature built of solid muscle, you wonder how you ended up the way you did.

Your eyes drift to the scale stuffed in the corner. You think about the fact that you haven't eaten, and wonder if you've actually lost weight from it. Couldn't hurt to check right?

You pull it from it's place and lay it on the floor, tapping it with your foot and the digital screen requests you to wait as it displays three big zeros. Finally it changed to say 'step on' and you do as it says waiting a moment for it to pop up with the number.

You're not sure why you smile at the number that is a few lower than it was a week and a half ago.

It's good, right? You decide that it is and step off the scale, replacing it and grabbing your towel, going back to your room to dress and sit at your computer, and hopping on the internet.

* * *

I'm all out of snarky comments for the day.

Reviews make me happy, so y'know, if you got somethin to say go ahead, I'll smile like a dork when I read them.


End file.
